Just Church

Today I attended my cousin's, Rita, Anna and William, Church. It is called Just Church. They meet in a little whole in the wall in Causway Bay. I had a marvelious time. Sitting there during worship singing along as best I could, a wave of emotion swept over me. All the sudden my lip started quivering and tears started to stream down my face. The worship was the kind that emitted Holy Spirit rays or something. It felt homey and simple, not about performance; full of genuine love. After the last weeks service being so big and scary, and feeling like the people in that ohter church sort of wanted me to join this and do that right away, it was refreshing to just be there and experience the presence of God without obligations arising already.
At Just Church there was the cutest baby and a little girl who was like me...EurAsian, as one woman asked me today. Although the girl was from Scotland, she looked like my little twin with dark brown hair and a little oval face. There is something very precious and endearing about a group of small people who are ernestly seeking God.
I think part of the reason I cried was, well because I'd felt a bit funky the day before, and because I think I really have been missing Chinese people a lot these last two years I've been in Yakama. Not just Chinese people, but my family and the part of me that comes more alive when I'm around them. It feels deep and unfathomable at times, like God, or the ocean, and at other times so simple, like holding the hand of a baby.
We are so strange, unsure and broken, yet somehow still manage to successfully communicate love if only in our little ways.
Today my cousin Anna showed me her flat and then we sat on her couch listening to classical music, a hymn and a whitney Houston song. We just sat and were comfortable and safe. The preacher at Just Church, was this cute old man who often laughed at his own jokes. Anna wrote me notes. But, he also made me feel very safe, the way my Dad makes me feel safe. Like when he's around I know I'll be taken care of. There was wisdom and laughter in his care worn face. Little things can sometimes open up into large places in our souls. When we were worshiping today, I think I heard God clearly say, "I love you this much, don't know I love you this much?" In a stil small voice that seemed to echo in my mind. After that, I started to breath little easier and, at least for a little while, I tried to take a hold of that truth with stunned admiration.