The Mid-Autumn Festival

Just before I left Hong Kong, there were these decorations that started to appear everywhere, a rabbit, some pink flowers, and lots of lanterns hanging about. I thought it felt exciting new, like seeing a Christmas tree for the first time, but to most people I'm sure it felt mundane the way we feel when you see turkeys every November. Tonight I was riding home from youth group a couple hours early, because I'm feeling a little under the weather, and I saw the reason for all the mid-autumn festival decorations, the huge moon above the horizon and the rabbit staring out at me. All of a sudden while humming down the dusty back roads of the reservation I was also in the bustling cramped city streets asking my cousin why there were rabbits everywhere. I was also thinking of all the kids in youth group, back there listening to today's lesson from Corey and I prayed they'd listen and have fun. The next few weeks it will be my turn and I thought as I often do, of what I'll say. But, more than what I hope to say, I really want to hope in the message I give, I want to give it with heart and spirit. The first talk I'll give is about getting free from "the hook" of temptation. As I felt the sun falling behind me and the moon was round in front of me, I felt a jump in my heart, a hope that we would be free from our junk. Somehow remembering that rabbit and the decorations in Hong Kong helped me fill up with something good, and it wasn't just nostalgia. Its just that Hong Kong often reminds me of how broken and scared I am, and at the same time how drastically and abundantly loved I am at the same time. Its a crazy world isn't it? A world with words like wurm and cacophony.

Back on Home Soil

When I first arrived back in the states, everyone seemed big and loud, I felt there was all the sudden and excess of space and an absence of noise. Waking up that first day in my little apartment in Toppenish Washington, I laid in my bed listening to the still late morning it was wonderful and disorienting. It took me a couple days to get back on my feet, and i must say returning home is much easier than arriving in a new world. It has suprised me how easily i can slip back into my normal way of speaking, living and doing. Still, I have changed and its hard to see how at times. I don't feel especially brave or learned, but there is a subtle change in my soul and way. Perhaps I've just grown up every so slightly.
Now that I've been back almost two weeks, I've been dreaming of Hong Kong. I had a dream that I was there and I was about to leave. So I took a walk with someone about the city one last time. The city was old and cobblestoned, very unlike the real Hong Kong, it was so beautiful and nostalgic that I cried and cried in the dream. I woke up feeling sad. But, I've returned to my little desert in the dry wilderness and am waiting and walking along. Hong Kong was like my Mt. Horeb, the place where the Israelites traveled to, to remember what Yehova spoke to their ancestors, a place they went to find Him themselves. And, indeed I did, I told a friend recently that one of the things I learned in Hong Kong was that I actually believe in God. This is because I met him there, and its good to know he really is omnipotent and present in all places.
Yakama is much as I left it, although the landscape of my life has changed and is continueing to change. In general I don't feel much prepared for my life, or for challenges ahead. Its kind of scary. Sometimes, in my moments of doubt I wonder if I should just go home and choose and easier life, one that others understand, a job that pays more and requires less of me. But, then God reminds me that I can trust Him, and that even if I am scared without the answers, he will still provide for me if I ask. His love is real, and so is He. It is good to be back on my home soil.

Two Days left ando9 I've skipped a lot

The last few days have felt like a whirlwind, there is so much I'm experiencing in such a short amount of time. Looking my last at certian places I just want to take it all in and make lots of memories that will last. Today I rode my last time on the Kowloon MTR line, the green one. And I like this ride a lot because the subway lifts its head out of the dark for about five or six stops so you can see the buildings and scenery around. There are more mountians and places not developed on the Kowloon side, in general there is much more space because...obviously its on the mainland and not part of Hong Kong isalnd. Kowloon is basically the city across the bay from Hong Kong and is part of Hong Kong's Specail Administrative Region in China. The SAR extends even further into what is called the New Territories as well. I like looking out and seeing all the buildings some look shabby on the outside, like they are just slowly curroding, there are even ones with big green plants sprouting out of their cracks. In most windows there is laundry hanging. There are always lots of billboards and advertisments too, this I find semi annoying but it ads to the artistic qualities of the city in a way, some of them are quite creative. I also finished my last class today, "American Slang". It was fun actually, and then made my way down ShawKeiWan road for the last time I'm sure for at least a couple years. I've gotten used to all the sights of that road that I walk Monday thru Friday, all the same shops and hawkers, the trollies humming and clanking down the middle of the road, and the traffic zooming by. I went to a baker I've grown to like, and got some dan taut (egg tarts) and bo lo bow (pinapple bun) and a mango juice box...all for eight HK dollars...which equals about a dollar US. I will miss the bakeries and the yum cha (dim sum) and the very yummy japanese desserts. There is a little store on the corner where my office building is, two of my student's parents own this shop full of household items. I'll miss everything cramped together, the dingy alleys and hidden black market shops. If it's possible even, I'll miss the nasty smells that at first were so poignant but now quite muted actually. Unless of course, I walk by a Chinese medicine cafe...then I always wrinkle my nose...those herbal chinese drinks, although very good for you, smell and taste horrible. It is sort of a saying I think that the worse a medicine tastes the better it is for you. I've been running around saying my good byes and having last dinners, giving and recieving gifts. Mostly, trying to say thank you and show gratitude to all the ppl who have made my stay wonderful and who have given me lots of care. Maybe its a Chinese thing, but there is sort of an idea that you are indebted to the older ppl that take care of you, and if you don't give something in return some balance is out of wack. I didn't realize I think that way until now, but I actually do. When its unhealthy I think ppl just try to save face and not look bad, when it's healthy ppl genuinly want to show gratitude and give to others. Hopefully I fall into the latter category, but honestly sometimes its a thin line.
My students at the kindergarden are precious, I'll miss their little faces giggling at me and looking up with such fresh curiosity. At the Shun On Kindergarden, I feel like a celebrety of sorts. Most of my time is spent looking nice and greeting kids and parents as they drop of their little bundles of joy. Most kids come in and the outgoing ones say Jo sun (good morning) to everyone: the cleaning/cooking ladies, the secretaries, the teachers, the principal, my grandma (the owner), me (Miss Brenda) etc. You sort of nod your head to everyone and bow a little, but not like in Japan where you really bow. its more like a nod, but the kids bow sometimes and so does Pau Pau (grandma). There is one little boy who comes in every day crying for his mom, and usually he doesn't stop for a while, its comical. Pau pau is soo cute, she touches the little kids faces and makes them say "Good morning Miss Brenda" to me or " Good morning Missy" or " Missy Jo Sun". When I shake their hands or look at the kids, they sort of squeal or laugh, and get really excited. Lots of times I'll walk down the hall and a little girl or boy will just yell "Good morning miss Brenda" or just "Miss Brenda" and then wave. How cute are they? HOnestly I don't do much in class accept read cards and get them to point at objects and say their english name. We sing songs and do little hand motions, its quite fun actually. They asked me to stay the whole year, but that seems a little much. I don't know how I'd do that at this point, although I do feel I'm just getting used to life here and wouldn't mind staying longer. I'm not frightend of HK anymore, and I feel more like an HK person these days accept that in general I'll nevery quite fit in which is a strange thing to know. But, I don't feel sad or bad about that, it is just the way things are in HK and in the US too, no chinese born person will ever feel totally accepted as an American because their look, same with me.
I do want to come back, but this expereince feels like a once in a lifetime thing, at least the living here for two months part. I may never get that chance again. And it has been a dream fulfilled, although I don't know what all the fruit of this expereince will be. Its like two years ago during the winder time, sitting in my apartment in Toppenish I prayed and asked God if it was possible for me to come here that he would make a way, and well he has. Its harder for ppl in HK to come visit me and that makes me sad, stupid exchange rate!!! The ticket alone to the US, is some HK ppl's months wage and its also my months wage around a thousand US dollars. This feels like a stream of lots of thoughts..and it is. But, that is the reality of me at the moment. Soon I'll be plunging back into my life in the US, and hopefully I'll take it easy so I don't get too stressed and forget all I've learned over the summer about taking time for solitude and the presence of God. When I'm not boxed in like i am here, sometimes I just run all over the place like a chicken with its head cut off. But, I hope i won't do that. I hope I'll be trusting and not get caught up again in all my strivings.
I skipped a lot of events, including the second part of my trip to China and a butt load of other stuff, perhaps I will catch up on some of that stuff later. For now bu bye.