Back on Home Soil

When I first arrived back in the states, everyone seemed big and loud, I felt there was all the sudden and excess of space and an absence of noise. Waking up that first day in my little apartment in Toppenish Washington, I laid in my bed listening to the still late morning it was wonderful and disorienting. It took me a couple days to get back on my feet, and i must say returning home is much easier than arriving in a new world. It has suprised me how easily i can slip back into my normal way of speaking, living and doing. Still, I have changed and its hard to see how at times. I don't feel especially brave or learned, but there is a subtle change in my soul and way. Perhaps I've just grown up every so slightly.
Now that I've been back almost two weeks, I've been dreaming of Hong Kong. I had a dream that I was there and I was about to leave. So I took a walk with someone about the city one last time. The city was old and cobblestoned, very unlike the real Hong Kong, it was so beautiful and nostalgic that I cried and cried in the dream. I woke up feeling sad. But, I've returned to my little desert in the dry wilderness and am waiting and walking along. Hong Kong was like my Mt. Horeb, the place where the Israelites traveled to, to remember what Yehova spoke to their ancestors, a place they went to find Him themselves. And, indeed I did, I told a friend recently that one of the things I learned in Hong Kong was that I actually believe in God. This is because I met him there, and its good to know he really is omnipotent and present in all places.
Yakama is much as I left it, although the landscape of my life has changed and is continueing to change. In general I don't feel much prepared for my life, or for challenges ahead. Its kind of scary. Sometimes, in my moments of doubt I wonder if I should just go home and choose and easier life, one that others understand, a job that pays more and requires less of me. But, then God reminds me that I can trust Him, and that even if I am scared without the answers, he will still provide for me if I ask. His love is real, and so is He. It is good to be back on my home soil.