Getting Lost

I finally got lost for reals, two times today. First when I got off on a different exit from Causeway bay. To explain, in each MTR station (subway), there are at least 4 different places they spit you out at. They are indicated by letters and in Causeway bay there are letters up to F. What I realized today is that if you get off at E, it is really difficult to make your way back to F if you try to walk on your own. I realized later, this was because E and F exits are separated by a very busy street. I wanted to go see Victoria park, and I will, but unfortunately I got a little lost and had to trace my steps back to the MTR station and down into the maze of people and then spit myself out at the correct exit.
The second time was a bit more frustrating, I wanted to go…wait no, I was shamed into going to this church group thingy at the church I visited on Sunday. It is an English speaking church full of mostly 1.5 generation Canadian or US immigrants who’ve returned to HK and immigrants from different countries. There are quite a few South East Asians, British, and Phillipina immigrants in Hong Kong. However, the Phillipina immigrants are almost all contracted maids for Chinese households.
Perhaps one of the legacies of the British colonization of Hong Kong was the appropriation of this practice. Also, the only way for HK people to actually work and have kids is to have maid to take care of them and do household chores. My Auntie Anita for this reason doesn’t know how to cook. Cost of living requires usually two household incomes, if not more, and work hours vary but usually consist of six-day workweeks and a lot of overtime. My Anna EE works from 9am to 7 or 8 pm M-Sa. She runs her own business sooo, no one is making her do this. I think she’s an extreme case but it’s not that uncommon. Mostly people who work in the financial district work on Sat. because on Sat. it is still Friday in the US. My cousin Anna worked from probably 10 am – 9pm today…with a two-hour lunch I presume. I came home at ten thirty today and the MTR was totally packed, HK people like to stay out late and work late. Working is water here, although I don’t think its very pure healthy water. Some is necessity; some is that the atmosphere is to over work then over play non-stop. Most people here exercise too, I’ve not seen a fat person yet. My Uncle for instance who is maybe in his late fifties and his wife play badminton at least twice a week. And I don’t mean badminton like you and your cousins on the lawn with jumbo rackets. I mean competitive Chinese style. If you want to know the difference just, play ping-pong with an American, then play ping-pong with a Chinese person. You’ll get the picture.
I was talking about something…oh getting lost. I also got lost trying to get to this church small group thingy. I have to give it to these churchy people they have a great strategy. They are so nice and welcoming that you feel so guilty not attending their stuff, even if you’re not so sure about it. Only the Chinese way will make you feel like this, if work is our water, shame is our bread. Really the Chinese ladies at this church have been very persistent, I got an email that was a mass email welcoming me to the church etc. I thought dang it, now I have to come or forever feel like I have to avoid these people for the rest of my time in Hong Kong and feel very bad for not going. But really later I felt I really did want to see what their group was like. So I got lost getting there and felt retarded looking at a map on the street. After some walking and my hair frizzing out in the night air, I found it.

I was skeptical of the medium they used, a video based on a book called “the life you always wanted” sounded like a cross between a self-help book and “the purpose driven life”. But, the author had a good point at the end about confession. He basically said, confession to friends about deep secrets and sins is about knowing the measure to which you are loved. We all probably hear people say they love us, but somewhere inside we are thinking, oh if they only knew this about me they wouldn’t say that. He had confessed all his dark secrets to a friend, afterward he felt very vulnerable and his friend said to him, “ Right now, I have never loved you more than I do know.” Wah, so powerful.
The discussion was ok, I had a disagreement on a point with one very animated lady, and it seemed to me she sort of drew the group to herself and was quite opinionated. She said she didn’t want a life without sin because it would be boring, and she didn’t think you could appreciate goodness without knowing the badness. Of course I don’t agree with that at all. In the Garden of Eden God walked among them and they weren’t afraid. This represents to me the deepest longing in life, to be able to actually be with God and not be afraid, and not just in the spiritual sense. But, to actually be in his physical presence, in all the Grandness and beauty, and the awesome power, the Holiness and not be afraid of Him or ashamed before Him. If I could ever get there, to that closeness that wipes away the ickiness, I think that would be paradise. I believe you can feel pain without ickiness, the ickiness is the sin, pain I don’t think is an always a direct result of sin. There are two kinds in this world, pain for following Jesus and pain because our own stupidity. The distinction is important. I had to hold my tongue a little and not get on the soapbox to try and prove I was right and she wasn’t. If that’s not prime example of sin, and why we need Jesus I don’t know what is.
People shared honestly though, and sometimes talked about really random not related things. That’s normal. We got in groups of three and prayed at the end. That was the best part. I got to talk to this lady Tina, and another lady whose name started with a V. Anyways, it was good to share honestly about how I struggle to trust God with someone other than this computer. Trust specifically around money and generosity. Tina shared that she too had been tight on money for the last couple years. She put her sister through college and now she can finally save some money. But, church takes up her time and she wants to spend more time with family. I wanted to suggest not doing as much in church. Her mom and sister are not Christians but not apposed to it. She said she wanted to show them she loved them, she didn’t want to loose touch with them. “In Chinese culture we rarely say ‘I love you’ so I try to show them I love them in other ways.” At that time she started to tear up. She really loves her family. I realized that what she said was true. Intimacy with Chinese people does have to do with showing affection very much, or saying things like ‘I love you’. It has to do with doing things together, like eating, and just being around even if we’re not doing anything special. Loyalty might be the word. Work is water, shame is bread, loyalty is air. I enjoyed getting to know those two ladies.
Ok la, ngoh fun gau a.(ok I am going to bed, good night)
Jo tau