Cellofono blues

It was a week ago today, a friday, that I had a sort of negative revelation, I was beginning to feel trapped into service...cellphone service. Starting to question why exactly I was dreading talking to other people because i didn't want them to ask me to do anything for them...i was tired and grouchy, and well, at the end of some kind of rope. In moments like that, I think it best to stick with the negative feelings till better ones arrive. The trapped feelings came and went over the next week, and were magnified partly because I got sick, and still am a little.
Wed. came around and i woke up wanting to not get up at all, feeling tired heavey sick and with no ounce of energy to face my day of facilitating youth group without really my consent. The day had been thrown on me and again, the trapped feelings were rearing their ugly trapped heads. I said, "Lord, I have nothing to give to this day...so help, please." And there was this song that popped into the screen of my tired brain, almost like my subconscious was resuming even after waking. "Making miracles is hard work, most people give up before they happen, maybe that's something, maybe that's something more than nothing. You stretch out across a long table and without hesitation you say "I'm willing able."" It was that last line really got me, so what if i wasn't asked if I was willing to take over youth group for the night, if i was willing to give of myself, If I felt my job was a worth while task, then that was something more than nothing. The reality is that sometimes shit happens and sometimes all at once. But, I'd rather be cleaning up shit in the house of God than chillin' with the wicked. Not that playing games with youth kids is even close to as gross or unjoyable as cleaning feces. In fact youth group is mostly fun, and also dang hard work. Especially when the frozen turkey bowling goes crazy and the pins(pop bottles) decide to get broken on you. Its a long story. But, this is all to say, life is better when you give yourself to the good work instead of becoming Brenda Robot Duty girl. You can insert your name there if you'd like.